FLASHBACK
The thump, thump, thump of the rotary blades drowned out whatever it
was Ty had said. Nick smiled anyway hearing the copilot’s guffaw as Ty gave
Nick a wink and a slow grin. By that look Nick knew that whatever joke Ty had
cracked was probably at Nick’s expense, but Nick didn’t care, he could take it
as well as he could give it. Besides, he was in a great fucking mood, a little
nervous, but happy.
Their tour was over and they were
on the first leg of several to get them home. Nick was sick to death of the
desert landscape. Sick to death of the fucking sand. They all were. Nick used
to love the beach. He wasn’t sure that’s how he’d be spending his summers
anymore though. They had squeezed in to the Helo, an earlier ride than expected,
because they were anxious to get away from it all.
The unmistakable nerve rattling
whistle was their only warning before the explosion. The Helo rocked furiously
before it started to spin and chaos ensued. Nick could hear the call of mayday, mayday as random supplies that
weren’t strapped in started to rain down. There were only so many seatbelts,
and he and Ty hadn’t been strapped in either. The bird tilted precariously and
Nick started to slide towards the open door feet first. He scrambled to find
anything to hold onto as he tried not to panic when a strong hand gripped his
wrist, stopping his descent.
“Jesus Christ, O!” Ty exclaimed
when Nick looked up into the hazel eyes of his rescuer. Ty had hooked an elbow
around one of the bolted seat legs, “I’m getting real tired of saving your
ass.” He gave a pull until Nick was able to grip onto the leg himself, “and you
gotta stop eating so much.” It was a strange thing to say, given the situation,
but Nick knew it was Ty’s way of trying to keep him calm. Ty wasn’t crazy, well
maybe a little, but the banter was a way he and Nick dealt with stressful
situations. Nick opened his mouth to reply that he could never say no to second
helpings of cook’s meatloaf when the impact rocked his world before he blacked
out.
Only he didn’t black out, or if
he did it only lasted a second because he was suddenly on his stomach in that
mother fucking sand.
“Ty!” Nick yelled kicking his legs in an
effort to crawl forward. He couldn’t move them, they were caught in something, or…fuck,
hanging on by a thread, or…gone? Had he landed on an IED? Were they blown off
before they’d even hit the ground? Why didn’t it hurt? He should be racked with
pain. Because you’re probably in shock, you’ve
seen it happen to other men. Running around with their arm blown off without a
clue their limb was missing because they were too caught up in the adrenaline
of the shit show that was going on around them. Fuck. Fuck! Nick scrambled
on the ground with his hands, searching for his rifle. He couldn’t see either,
he couldn’t fucking see. It was so
dark. Too dark. Still, he could make out another flash of light, more
explosions; something was raining down around him. Where the fuck was his M-16?
Jesus Christ, his heart was pounding so fucking hard it felt like he couldn’t
breathe. Don’t panic. You’re fucking
Recon O’Flaherty, you were trained for this. You were trained to stay the
fuck calm in these situations. He
felt, rather than heard; someone approaching and he reached for his Kbar on his
possibly missing thigh. No way he was being captured alive if he could help it.
He’d fight with everything he could, legs or no, because he could only imagine
what these animals would do to an American Marine.
“Nick.” He heard his name coming
from a distance and he stopped searching for a moment to listen. He could
barely hear over the pounding of his heart in his ears.
“Ty!?” Nick breathed,”Ty, my legs
man…my fucking eyes. I can’t see…I can’t…are you ok?”
“Nick.” The voice was closer this
time. It sounded sort of like Ty, but not Ty. Who…? Why couldn’t he fucking see?!
“Nick, you’re okay. Everything’s
okay.” Calm. So fucking calm, and it soothed Nick for some reason. Was it a
medic? But it wasn’t Kelly’s voice, perhaps time had passed faster than Nick realized,
maybe he had lost consciousness and
this was a rescue team.
“I…I can’t see…” Nick sputtered,
“My team?…My legs?...Staff Sergeant Grady? He wasn’t strapped in either…the
impact…”
“It’s okay Nick, you're home,
there’s no war, there’s no bombs.” Exquisite. That voice was exquisite and
soothing and Nick latched onto it like a lifeline. “Your eyes are fine, your
legs are fine, and all of your team are fine. Ty’s fine. You’re home Nicky,
you're home. Can you hear me? Do you know who I am?” Deacon Nick’s mind sighed “It’s Deacon.” The voice confirmed.
Yes, yes Deacon of course. Nick
would know that voice anywhere wouldn’t he? The man he loved and adored. His
reason. His everything. How did he not recognize it earlier? But how did he…how
was he here? Where was he? Home,
Deacon had said, home.
“Deacon?” Nick’s voice came out
in a harsh whisper.
“Yeah, Nicky, it’s me. It’s
Deacon. Are you with me?” Worried. Deuce was worried. Nick could hear it in his
voice although D was trying to conceal it.
“Yeah…” Nick swallowed. God his
throat was so sore as if he’d been screaming. Had he been screaming? “I…I can’t
see, D…I.”
There was another loud boom and
Nick shivered.
“It’s ok, it’s just thunder.”
Deuce reassured him, “Open your eyes Nicky. You can see, just open your eyes,
baby.”
And just like that Nick realized
he’d been squeezing his eyes shut and slowly opened them. He blinked a few
times to clear his vision of the dessert landscape turned silver in the
moonlight and focus on his surroundings. He was lying on a white shag carpet,
not sand, he was surrounded by stylish couches and dark wood furniture, not
trees and rock. He looked straight ahead at the little orange and white fur
ball sitting under the end table staring back at him with frightened blue eyes.
Winchester. Philadelphia. Deuce’s place. Home. Home, not because Nick
actually lived here, but because the most important person in his life was
here.
Nick tilted his head up a little
and there he was; Deacon, crouched
beside Nick looking so scared and desperate it nearly broke Nick’s heart. Fuck,
it was Nick’s fault he looked that way. He licked his dry lips and slid his
hands under his shoulders to push himself up, twisting to rest onto his hip.
His legs were still tangled and he reluctantly looked down, still afraid of
what he would or wouldn’t find there and was overwhelmed with relief to see the
Phillies throw tangled around his limbs.
“Fuck,” he reached down to free
his legs, but he was still shaking so badly it took him a moment to get the
damn blanket off. When he finally did he half heartedly balled it up and threw
it on the couch.
“Fuck,” he repeated as he
scrubbed a clammy hand over his damp face then pulled his knees up to his
chest. Jesus Christ he was shaking so fucking bad and his heart rate just
wouldn’t slow down. He shivered as a trickle of sweat slid down the middle of
his back.
He was dimly aware of Deuce
sitting down beside him on the floor. “I’m going to touch you.” Deuce warned before
Nick felt the soft press of D’s hand on his shoulder.
“Fuck, D, I’m sorry. I…didn’t
mean to worry you…I’m fine, really…I…” but Nick was having a hard time catching
his breath or gathering his thoughts to finish any sentences.
“Don’t’ apologize to me,” Deuce
said tenderly, “And you’re not fine, but it‘s ok. You’re going to be ok. Come
here…” He gave Nick’s shoulder a gentle tug and Nick went with it. He turned as
he landed in Deuce’s lap, wrapping his arms around D’s middle and squeezing
tight as he buried his face in his stomach. God he smelled incredible, Nick’s
favorite scent in the whole fucking world. He smelled like home.
“You’re alright now, Nicky, I’ve
got you. I’ve always got you…” Deuce rubbed Nick’s back in strokes and circles
with one hand while running his fingers through Nick’s hair with the other, all
the while murmuring reassurance and love. God, Deuce playing with Nick’s
tresses was another one of Nick’s favorite things. It calmed him and centered
him and always made him feel so at peace.
Nick wasn’t sure how long they
stayed like that before he was able to release the death grip he had on Deuce
and roll onto his back, lying his head on D’s thighs so he could look up at his
man. Deuce looked down at him with a small smile, his long fingers still
playing with Nick’s curls, his other hand resting on Nick’s stomach. God Deuce
was spectacular, just fucking stunning, and Nick never wanted a day to go by
when he couldn’t gaze upon that face. This man had become everything to Nick,
his main reason to get up in the morning, the reason he wanted to be a better
man. He was his lover, his friend, his fucking life line.
“God, I’m so in love with you,
Deacon.” He said as he reached up to run the rough pads of his fingers down D’s
cheek, “You’re like the sun to me…lighting up a very dark fucking place
sometimes…warming the cold…”
“There’s my sappy Nick I love, “D
smiled softly down at him, before licking his lips nervously, “You wanna talk
about it?”
Nick shook his head, “Not
really…I mean there’s nothing to talk about. It’s over now, yeah? It was just a
dream.” Lightning flashed through the large windows of Deuce’s condo followed
by a menacing clap of thunder and Nick tensed despite his best efforts.
“It was a little more than a
dream, Nicky.” Deuce said tenderly, as he brought up his hand from Nick’s
stomach to smooth out the furrow between Nick’s brows with his finger tip.
“Talk to me.”
Nick shook his head and tore his
gaze from those mesmerizing hazel eyes. He wanted to sit up so he could get
away from having this conversation but he didn’t have the strength just yet,
besides being this wonderfully close to Deuce was the only thing keeping him
grounded at the moment.
Nick felt a soft thump on his leg
and he peered down to see Winchester sitting there. “Hey, buddy.” He said, and
scratched the kitten’s head, thankful for the distraction.”Did I scare you?”
Win closed his eyes and tilted his head into Nick’s attentive fingers. “I’m
sorry.”
Nick looked back up at Deuce who
was smiling apprehensively down at him, “Jesus baby, I’m gonna give the cat
PTSD.”
“You’re gonna give me a fucking
heart attack,” Deuce was using a teasing tone, but Nick knew he meant every
word. “I come home from saving the youth of America to find a dark house and
you screaming my brother’s name.”
“I’m sorry about that. I got
bored with the TV and was thinking about getting the computer…”Nick shook his
head, “Must have fallen asleep.”
“Maybe,” Deuce nodded, then
flicked his eyes away from Nick’s for a moment before returning his gaze, “Or
maybe the storm triggered a flashback. Had it started raining yet?”
Nick sighed as he gently
dislodged Winchester and reluctantly pushed himself up. “It was just a bad
dream, D. Not a big deal, ok. Let’s not make it one.”
“Nick…” Deuce started gently.
“I’m starving,” Nick cut him off
as he forced himself to stand strong on shaky legs. “Did you bring home the
Thai food?”
“Yeah, that was the plan,” Deuce
answered, but Nick could hear the trepidation in D’s voice. “I got extra
dumplings because I could see how much you hated to share last time.”
Nick looked over his shoulder on
the way to the kitchen. Deuce was standing with his fists shoved into the front
pockets of his jeans. D may have been teasing about the food but he couldn’t
erase the worried look from his handsome face.
“I never mind sharing with you,”
Nick said playfully back. “I was just hungry that day.”
He just wanted to have a normal
fun night with D; they didn’t get to spend enough time together as it was. They
had a full week together, one more night here than off to California, and he
didn’t want to waste one second of it rehashing his dreams of something that
had happened a long time ago. Something he’d rather forget. Those men were long
dead, their bones part of the sand he had hated so much. His scars and bruises
long since healed. His mind…well that was just taking entirely longer then it
should. But it was getting better. He
was getting better, and a huge part of that was because of the man standing in
the kitchen emptying the bags of takeout beside him.
“You’re always fucking hungry,
babe.” Deuce smirked when Nick looked at him and Nick’s heart caught in his
throat. Jesus he loved D so fucking much. He’d do anything, anything, to make sure he was happy, that
he was ok, even if Nick had to injure himself or die to do it. To be the cause
of D’s worry or pain was fucking with him big time.
He set down the container of
Chicken Satay and wrapped his arms around Deuce, resting his chin on D’s
shoulder, “I’m fine, baby. I promise you. Let’s just enjoy our dinner before I
ravage you.” He smiled against Deuce’s neck before placing a kiss there.
“Okay,” Deuce turned in his arms
and set his hands on Nick’s hips. “I just love you, Nicky. I don’t want to see
you suffer.”
“But I’m not suffering, D.” Nick
assured him, “Far from it. Since we’ve been together I’ve slept better than I
have in years. I could count on one hand how many fucked up dreams I’ve had.
It’s not a big deal. I’m fine.”
Deuce sighed quietly as he looked
down and worried his lip, “I really wish you’d talk to someone. That was more
than a bad dream, Nicky. I couldn’t…” D’s voice caught and he cleared his
throat before looking up at Nick, “It felt like forever before I could get
through to you. Seeing you like that…so…gone…”
“Deacon,” Nick brought a hand up
to smooth back D’s hair from his forehead, “I’m going to those Vet meetings,
and I wouldn’t have even considered doing that if you hadn’t found it for me
and convinced me to go. And you were right, it helps. Most of those guys have
nightmares and shit.” He tilted his head and gave Deuce a pleading look. “Please,
baby, I’m fine. Can we just have a nice week while I’ve got you?”
As if on cue Nick’s stomach
rumbled loudly and Deuce laughed softly as he shook his head, “Fine. I’ll drop
it for now so you can feed the beast, but-“
Nick quieted whatever was going
to follow with a long slow kiss, not releasing Deuce until he was pliable in
his arms.
“Now,” Nick smiled, licking his
lips as he savored Deuce’s taste. “I’m ready for my meat on a stick before I
have this stick of meat for dessert.” He reached between them to cup Deuce’s
semi hard on through his jeans. God he loved how responsive D was, one kiss and
he was raring to go.
“Keep that up and the dessert
will come first.” Deuce’s smile was the most genuine one Nick had seen since
before D had left for the youth center that afternoon.
Nick shook his head, “I need fuel
to fuck you right.”
He released Deuce to go retrieve
some dishes from the cabinet. Getting caught up while cooking or unpacking take
out and fucking before dinner was a common occurrence for them, so hunger
really wasn’t the issue. The truth was Nick wasn’t really sure he could get it
up just yet. No matter what he said to Deuce, that dream, or flashback, or
whatever the fuck it was, was still too fresh in his mind. A part of him still
felt like he was lying on that desert floor awaiting capture and worrying about
his best friend. The man he had loved at the time. It wasn’t anywhere near the
love he and D shared, but still…and for some reason that made him envision what
it would have been like of Deuce had
been there. Jesus, that thought had his chest constricting. It was bad enough
watching what those bastards did to Ty, having to do what they made him do to Ty, thinking every time Ty was
dragged from the cell it would be the last time he’s see him, if it had been
D…Nick’s throat suddenly felt tight as the back of his eyes burned with unshed
tears. No, best not to think about that. Best not to think about any of it.
After dinner Nick got a shower to
wash off the sweat and stink of fear before crawling naked into bed beside Deuce.
They’d decided to call it an early night and Nick was thankful. After coming
down from the endorphin rush his body felt like he’d just run a marathon. He
had a text from Ty telling him to call if he needed to talk. Deuce fidgeted
awkwardly next to Nick as he text back that he was fine and would call him tomorrow.
Obviously D had given his brother a heads up. Nick’s first reaction was to be
pissed, but he pushed it aside because he knew Deuce only did it because he
thought Ty would be the only person Nick would open up to and he was worried
about him. Damn, shrink thinking. Nick
tossed his phone back onto the end table as Deuce switched off the light and
turned onto his side facing away from him. Nick spooned up behind D, kissing
his shoulder.
“I’m really tired.” D said, and
Nick leaned his chin on Deuce’s shoulder to try to peer around at his face. He
could see the dim moonlight coming in from outside glinting off of Deuce’s open
eyes. The rain had stopped, thank God, and the night sky had cleared but obviously
the atmosphere in the Penthouse hadn’t. They’d watched TV while they ate, not
talking much through dinner, but Nick thought Deuce was letting things go.
Apparently not. Since when did they go to sleep without fucking?
“Are you mad at me?” Nick asked.
“Of course not,” Deuce sighed,
“Just can’t shake the worry. Can’t stop picturing you…”
“D,” Nick cajoled, as he slid his
hand down Deuce’s flank to his hip. “Stop. Just…stop. Let it go.” He slipped
his hand around Deuce’s front and gently rubbed his fingers through the thin
line of hair under his belly button, “I want you.”
“Sex isn’t the answer for
everything, Nicky,” Deuce reprimanded, even as he leaned back into Nick.
“It may not be,” Nick answered as
his hand slowly made its way down to Deuce’s cock. It wasn’t hard, but it
wasn’t fully flaccid either. He loosely wrapped his hand around it and ran the
pad of his thumb around the head causing it to immediately grow, “But I really
need you to fuck me right now. Please, baby…” he softly glided his lips along
D’s neck, than began to place small, wet kisses along it.
Deuce grunted, his hips
involuntarily pushing forward into Nick’s attentive hand before easing his ass
back against Nick’s own erection. “You suck.” He whispered.
“Mmm,” Nick smiled against his
skin, “I’d be happy to.” He eased Deuce onto his back as he moved down the bed.
“That’s not what I…oh” Deuce’s
sentence was cut off by a moan as Nick’s mouth slipped over the head of his
cock. Nick suckled there, enjoying the taste before he took more of him in.
“Fuck…” Deuce hissed as he drew his knees up and spread them.
Nick hummed around the cock in
his mouth. He loved sucking Deuce off. Loved the feel, the taste, the sounds he
could elicit from the man. At this point he knew exactly what D liked. How much
attention to give his balls, when to go fast and when to slow it down; when to
deep throat and when to just lap at the sensitive head. He could tell when to dip
deeper to tease the delicate skin below his balls, and recently he’d enjoyed
going lower to turn it into something else. He could bring Deuce to the edge
quickly, or turn it into a slow torture. Or course Deuce knew Nick’s body just
as well.
Nick licked Deuce’s balls now,
nuzzling and sucking on them before taking his cock into his mouth all the way
to the back of his throat. Deuce lifted his hips from the mattress to push up deeper
and Nick swallowed him down.
“Oh, shit, baby…” Deuce uttered,
his hands fisting in Nick’s hair as he fucked his mouth. Nick would have loved
to feel the salty jet of come spill down his tongue but he really wanted to get
fucked. No, he really needed to get
fucked.
He pulled his head back until
Deuce’s dick popped out causing D to let out a small whimper of disappointment.
Nick slowly made his way up Deuce’s body with kisses, D’s hands still in his
hair but more gently now. He took a nipple into his mouth, running his tongue
along the circumference before nipping and sucking the hard bud. Deuce hissed
and squirmed beneath him. He ground their hard on’s together as he kissed up to
Deuce’s jaw before whispering “Fuck me.”
They kissed a few minutes, hands
roaming until D rolled away from him to grab the lube. Nick turned onto his knees
and pulled a pillow under his chest as he tilted his ass into the air, “No
prep. Just fuck me.”
“Are you sure?” Deuce asked.
“Yeah,” Nick nodded, his chin on
the pillow.
The bed jostled as Deuce
positioned himself and Nick heard his sharp intake of breath, as D’s hand
slowly ran over his ass. “Jesus Nicky,
you’re so fucking sexy.”
Nick smiled and tilted his hips
up father, unabashedly displaying himself. He bit his lip in anticipation when
he felt Deuce’s cock press against his entrance before he paused there. “I
don’t want to hurt you.”
“You won’t, baby.” Nick
guaranteed him, although Nick was sure he probably would. At first at least,
but Nick didn’t care. He actually wanted
to feel a little bit of pain right now.
“Okay,” Deuce breathed before slowly
pushing in. He had to stop and rock his cock against the tight muscles a few
times so that they would loosen and allow more entry. Nick gripped the pillow
and pushed back until their balls slapped together, forcing Deuce all the way
in.
“Fuck!” Deuce gritted out and his
grip on Nick’s hips tightened. Nick squeezed his eyes closed and buried his
face into the pillow to prevent his own yell. It hurt. Too much, too soon and
his body wasn’t quite ready. But it felt good. It woke Nick up to the present. Made
him feel alive as gooseflesh popped up from the discomfort.
“Fuck me,” he ground out,
reaching back to slap Deuce’s hip before grabbing it, “Come on, Deacon fuck me
like you mean it.”
“I always mean it,” Deuce voice
sounded too small, so Nick pressed back against him, fucking himself on his
cock before D started to follow his rhythm.
“And you always do it so well,”
Nick panted, “Make me come so fucking hard.”
Deuce’s breaths were harsh now as
they moved together. “Love watching you come…”
“Oh yeah,” Nick licked his lips,
the pillow fisted in both his hands now, “feels so fucking good.” And it did.
The pain was subsiding and what remained was the pleasurable kind, and when
Deuce redirected his thrusts to hit Nick’s sweet spot it was all good. “Oh yeah
baby, right there.” Nick’s cock, which had gone down a bit from the initial
onslaught, thickened, but it still didn’t feel like enough. “Harder….faster…”
Deuce picked up his cadence,
their bodies slapping together punctuated by their moans and grunts. “Like
that?”
“Yeah, that’s it…” Nick groaned,
“Fuck me until I can’t walk.” Until I
can’t remember anything but this. But you. But us. Nothing that happened before
matters. Just us, and that I’m alive and whole and here with you. Not rotting in
the desert after having to do unspeakable things to my best friend. Here, in
Philadelphia, in this bed with the man I love buried so deep inside we’ve
become one.
Nick’s balls drew up and he came
shouting out Deacon’s name. His body shuttered as his legs slid out from under
him no longer able to sustain his wait. He sprawled on his stomach as D pumped
a few more times on top of him before he came as well. Nick loved the feeling
of Deuce’s cock pumping inside of him, filling him up with his hot seed. Deuce
lowered himself onto Nick, panting against his ear as they both caught their
breath.
“Fuck Nick,” He said after a few
minutes, “This aggressive therapy is a hell of a work out.”
Nick chuckled, “Beats the gym.”
Deuce nodded against his shoulder
then placed a kiss there before rolling off. Nick closed his eyes, listening to
the sound of D padding into the bathroom and the water running as he cleaned
off. When he came back he cleaned Nick with a damp cloth and Nick smiled. The
one who did the fucking usually did this for the other. It had become routine
and it was nice. He and D had fallen into lots of little routines together,
usually without Nick realizing it, but when he did it always warmed his heart.
He’d never had that with anyone before and he really liked it. A lot.
“I suppose you want me to do your
front too?” D asked when was done, and Nick slowly rolled over onto his back,
grinning up at him. Deuce huffed and wiped Nick’s stomach and dick with a shake
of his head, “You’ve become entirely too spoiled.”
Nick laughed, taking the wash
cloth from him and tossing it as he pulled Deuce down on top of him, “It’s your
own fault. You’ve turned me into a brat.”
“This is true,” D smiled down at
him. Nick could see the worry still lingering in his eyes. He knew there were
unspoken words and questions that D was struggling to hold at bay.
“Roll over Booboo, I’m lying in
the wet spot.”
“Always making a mess,” Deuce
sighed, shaking his head as he kissed Nick before complying with his request.
“Always your fault,” Nick
quipped.
Deuce didn’t turn onto his side
to be spooned like he usually did; instead he settled on his back and pulled
Nick to him. Nick laid his head on D’s chest, wrapping an arm around his waist
and snuggling closer to him. Deuce rested a hand on Nick’s forearm, and played
with Nick’s hair with his other. Nick didn’t think he’d be able to sleep after
what had happened earlier. Usually after a bad dream he was done for the day,
afraid closing his eyes would take him back to that place, but he felt so safe
in Deacon’s arms, and his body was sated, his eyes so heavy.
“I love you, Nicky.” Deuce
whispered.
“I love you too, Deacon” Nick
mumbled, his lips not wanting to cooperate.
More than I could ever put into words, he wanted to add. That was his last
thought before slipping into a peaceful dream.